By: Regina Casteleijn-Osorno
For those of us caring daily for another, caregiving is a job and often a fulltime, sometimes thankless one. Although we dearly, deeply love the people we are caring for, many of us feel a sense of something missing in our own lives. The desire to have purpose, to have a higher mean and sense of autonomy is the basis of any healthy work-life relationship and vital to our individual wellbeing. Many of us are put into a caregiving position without being asked to if it is something we want to do. We take the role on because of our child, our parent, our partner needs us for their daily needs, and we accept that this is how our life is. Many of us dream of the possibility to have something of our own just outside the walls we live and work in, and for others we don’t have the energy to dream. The wellbeing of caregivers is a topic that has been deeply explored in literature, with an overwhelming focus on wellbeing. In recent years, studies from all areas not just caregiving have shown that wellbeing in general is an increasingly important factor for overall life happiness.
Most of us think of wellbeing as quite general, how I am feeling, basically the hedonic wellbeing side, which basically means, seeking pleasure from things we enjoy, while avoiding things that bring us negative feelings. The pursuit of happiness, through things we enjoy. This can include eating and creating delicious food, attending a party/concert, going to the gym/spa, basically anything you do because you know it is something you enjoy. Another type of wellbeing is, eudiamonic wellbeing, which has been discussed more thoroughly in literature in the last few years, as it relates to wellbeing through a deeper meaning. This simply means showing a life made up of actions that then in themselves hold value revealing a life made up of actions that hold value as they are representative of personal determination and achieved through desire, passion, and self-realization.
Creating or doing something that we do for the sake of giving us not for pleasure, but for meaning and proof of our drive and initiative. This type of wellbeing along with hedonic wellbeing together make up the holistic picture of what our personal wellbeing is and how it can be measured.
In this article I want to tell a story, it’s one story representing many, taken from personal and not directly personal experiences. It carries with it experiences of the caregivers I have grown to know and trust throughout the world, and it is told with the sincerity, struggle, and beauty of what our lives are, as caregivers. It is certainly not a guide (although there are some guidance links included at the end), but should be used as an example of what can be, and not what should be. It is about a young foreign mother whose child was born special. Isolated and scared as a first-time mother to this unique beautiful child, this mother rarely found the strength to leave the house in the first two years of their life. The few times she attempted; her child didn’t act as other babies acted. They didn’t get the attention most mothers with babies get, that of the ‘they are so cute’, no this mother had strangers whisper and point as to why her baby wasn’t ‘acting normal’ and she dared not venture out much again after a few of these experiences.
Her life slowed down, her already limited social circle slowly disappeared and her relationship with her few mom friends became more disconnected as their babies hit milestones hers did not. Her family, kilometres away in another land struggled to grasp the intensity of her situation, of her baby, who was not growing, not moving not eating as babies should. They offered advice, an ear, and virtual hugs, but she grew increasingly desperate. She was not depressed, that needs to be emphasized as that was not the case, her baby being special- this alone was the biggest concern and what drew her into herself. As her isolation grew so did her desire to find something for herself. Although exhausted, after the intensive first few years, her baby was now over 3 and she was able to leave him with the day care for a few hours a week. Her baby didn’t ‘grow out’ of their need for special care, and was not developing ‘normally’, but progress was made, and life would and could and had to go forward. During these precious few hours, she would take time walking through town where she would walk past cafes and shops and see happy gatherings of young mothers with their chubby, happy, ‘normal’ babies.
The pain was palpable, her loss of a ‘normal’ motherhood experience was clear and agonizing. There were no mom and baby music groups, long talks over coffee while babies slept, for her there was vomit and crying, endless doctors’ appointments and invasive testing, sleepless nights, continuing well into the child’s toddler years, and the agonizing realization that this is her life, and that this will always be her life. This child would always rely on her (and in time on others) and along with acceptance of this situation was the drive to create something of her own.
Having always been a determined, driven woman, she thought about what she liked to do and what she could do in the hours her child was at the day care. Her first thought was perhaps she could teach a cooking class, bringing in some of her culture to the community so she reached out to schools where she could teach and soon was able to plan and teach a class. This small, personal space, the time to plan and look into herself and not be just the mother of a handicapped child, was priceless. She began to build her confidence, make some new friends slowly and became even a tiny part of the teaching community in that school. She also gave more thought to taking the teaching outside of the school and knew that would be something that could give her great joy.
Recent studies have a showed that happiness and having a ’good life’ in relation to career choice is inseparable which is one of the many reasons some people are turning to entrepreneurship to achieve the goal of obtaining the optimal ‘good life’. For this young mother, that was the idea when she started taking a class on entrepreneurship at the local school. As her confidence grew not only in her mothering abilities, but also her teaching her, social and other skills, so did her drive to want to develop something of her own. Perhaps something even for her child to work with as they grew older.
Although entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone, that was made clear the first day of her course, it was encouraging that Finland is notoriously a country of small businesses. In the over 292,000 companies in Finland nearly 93% have 10 or less employees and are so-called micro enterprises. In fact, in Finland women account for 35% of all small business owners in Finland and it is increasing yearly with 68% of all small businesses are owned and run by single persons, there seemed to be some hope that she could do this. She also learned of the 168 million euros given in grants to support entrepreneurs by Business Finland and met with members from various organizations to discuss how to best start her business.
The truth is, in Finland, entrepreneurship has no borders and is increasingly inclusive including more businesses run by handicapped individuals and immigrants. It is truly limitless and bound only by, time, ambition, finances, and the desire to take that leap. Not to be taken lightly, these boundaries can seem like mountains for anyone much less a fulltime caregiver. She took things one day at a time, and once she had an idea of the type of business she not only wanted to do, but knew she could do, she knew she wanted to pursue it further.
There was a lot to consider of course. If you are thinking of becoming an entrepreneur and are a caregiver, the most logical type of entrepreneurship you will pursue would be that of a part-time entrepreneur. However, you can also join a stake in an already established start-up and be co-entrepreneurs. There is no right way to do entrepreneurship and you need to decide for yourself what the best way will be. Don’t worry, you can always change this up once you see how things have progressed. The company types in Finland are proprietorship (toiminimi), partnership (avoin yhtiö), limited partnership (kommandiittiyhtiö), limited company (osakeyhtiö) and cooperative association (osuuskunta). That being said, let’s also not rule out one of the rising stars of entrepreneurship- light entrepreneurship (kevytyrittäjyys).
Light entrepreneurship is a relatively new way to do entrepreneurship. It is especially popular among freelancers and people who do occasional gig work which basically means you are doing entrepreneurship through a billing service that handles all the paperwork, tax details and insurances. For this young mother, this was the best way to test the waters. You don’t need to have a company ID number and you can focus on what you love doing. There are a few companies that can help with this, such as Ukko, Free and even banks can offer services, so it is worth looking into if you find this type of entrepreneurship fits you the best. As a light entrepreneur, she had the freedom to work on her terms. She could decide when to work, for whom and at what price. She had more time to focus on her business as a company could handle the paperwork including taxes, social security, and pension payments on her behalf.
It will come as no surprise that financing her venture was one of the trickiest parts of starting a business. It is also why most businesses in Finland (and universally) fail, along with mis-planning or mis-management of a venture. In Finland new businesses can be supported with ‘starttiraha’ a start-up grant which you can apply for from your local Employment and Economic Office. She was able to receive it for a maximum of eighteen months, but as a note you must be sure to apply for this money BEFORE setting up your business number and name, as once the business is established you are no longer eligible for the start-up grant. Furthermore, there are other agencies that offer loans particularly for start-ups, including special loans for women and immigrants.
Clearly, from the start she had to consider the money. Not just how to make it, but how to get it and grow it and for her this was the greatest hurdle in starting a business. She considered all options including how to get loans and grants, but also had to think ahead to taxation, accounting, KELA benefits and everything in between. These are vital, but albeit sometimes confusing details that can be daunting especially in the beginning and it’s good to get some solid research done from the start. She was grateful for the advice from the organizations that provide help with business plans.
Quite a few entrepreneurs will tell you that it was not necessary for them to have a plan and they have still succeeded, but what about you? For this mother, it was a vital tool and overall a business plan is a useful tool to have for you to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your ideas and skills as well as if your product, goods or services are relevant to the market. Furthermore, a solid business plan will likely be necessary when applying for aforementioned grants and loans.
It is also useful to consider getting some solid business advice from experienced entrepreneurship experts. Luckily in Finland there are several agencies that offer free business advice for potential entrepreneurs. She spent time while her child was at daycare forming connections with other entrepreneurs, attending events when possible and used this as an important tool in getting her venture off the ground. Other entrepreneurs have paved the way, have seen some highs and certainly some lows and will be a great resource for support and advice.
This all being said, this mother was able to start her business, and she was able to really take part in something she enjoyed, while her child was small. She did, however, not keep her business more than a few years. In fact, most entrepreneurs have more than one business that has failed and adhere to the now outdated Silicon Valley motto ‘fail fast, fail often’. This motto has been the tongues of many a start-up CEO in the last 10 years or so, and you need to interpret it as you feel fit for your venture. However, instead of calling it a ‘failure’ she was very proud of her venture.
She learned a lot about herself, her child and their needs and how to best establish work-life balance for her family. She also made quite a few friends along the way, including other mothers who accepted her child and her life as it is, It’s all about perspective then, isn’t it?
Being an entrepreneur is a great thing if anything for the experience it provides. Having experienced entrepreneurship through my own and others’ ventures I can say that there are indeed highs and lows and that networking, preparing for success and failures and knowing what is possible is all part of the business as they say. Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone but ask any entrepreneur and they will say that working for yourself, doing something you love is both rewarding and life changing.
I am currently working on my PhD studies for the Entrepreneurship department at the University of Turku with a topic very near to my heart and perhaps yours too, that of entrepreneurship whilst caring for a special needs child. My study still at its very early stages, will look at if entrepreneurship can be used to increase the wellbeing and reduce the stigma of being a mother with a special child, and look at the identity the transformations a mother goes through while becoming an entrepreneur while being a caregiver. I am in desperate need of mothers looking to discuss this topic with me and encourage mothers who have also only considered entrepreneurship to reach out to me for a chat.
Thank you!
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